naked & exposed

i don’t know what will happen next,
or if this is where i’m supposed to be,
or if something good can come from this,
or where this will take me,

but i guess i’ll never know until i try. 

regardless of where I am, I will always be a minority,

1. because of my physical appearance,
2. because of my American swag,
3. because we live in a world that believes in white supremacy

& because of that, I’ll make sure I stand out instead of stick out. 

damn, I haven’t thought like this in while… 

HOLYSHIET;LKJA;DLSKFHA;DFH;ALKSDNA!!!!!!!

…wtf, i just realized i won’t even be there…………… well, that sucks. 

but still! AHHHHHHH

Why am I sad? I can’t figure it out… NO, it’s not that time of that month —gosh!
All I know is that I’m falling again. You’d think I’d be used to it by now, but these bruises still hurt. 

I feel anxious because I don’t want to fall.
I feel stupid as an international student. 
I feel ugly next to these Spanish girls.
I feel worthless when a guy doesn’t call back. 
I feel fat because I think chocolate can help.
I feel upset for letting myself wallow.
I feel vulnerable for posting this.  
This shit’s real.  

haha

But it’s a brand new day,
& I have yet to discover the Beauty that’s in store for today. 

yeah, I was sad,
but that’s before I checked myself. 

Nahman, I won’t let you bring me down.
Rather, I’ll let You raise me up. 

nothing here lasts forever,

and I’m okay with that.  
this life is transient, and I am but a visitor.  

don’t believe me when I say I’ve got it down 

— John 1:5

how the tides are high at one moment but low at another

whereas others will let their hair down, I’ll put mine up, and that’s how you’ll know. 

doesn’t it seem pointless sometimes, the things we do?
But if we were to stop, then we would get no where.
And honestly, I’d rather be somewhere than to stay here. 

everybody is just a stranger, but 
that’s the danger in going my own way;
I guess it’s the price I have to pay. 

we have this bad habit of getting so caught up with our selves. we have a tendency to be so selfish… & we don’t even realize it. it gets in the way of our relationships. 

but really, it can be a blessing in disguise.

I’ve already learned so much.

it’s not easy